Empty Emotions..

"Empty emotions..
This pain I seem to hide..
Feeling nothing..
As I sit here and cry."

Shocked.. Broken.. Shattered.. Lost!

I don't really know what I'm feeling as I'm writing this.. Feeling nothing, maybe?

I always believed in love stories and happy endings; That each and every person in this life can touch and feel that glimpse of heaven through 'Love' .. My beliefs started to grow bigger as I met her .. Everything felt so right; Like she's the 'perfect match' for me..

I saw my future kids through her eyes.. I saw happiness & lots of unforgetabble moments.

.. Days passed ..

Days turned to months.

&

Months turned to years.

.. But we were only getting distant ..

--

.. Today ..

That chair is empty once again!

I used to be more cheerful .. What happened to me now?!

"Maybe I'm heartless.
Maybe I'm worthless.
Maybe I'm not what you wanted or expected.
But someone out there will love me the way I deserve to be loved.
I just wish it could have been you."

'VooDoo' You..

"Wouldn't be great if you just can curse anyone who hurts you?!" 

One of the question I used to ask myself when I was younger.. The word 'Revenge' used to sound so cool to me. To give that person a taste from his/her own medicine used to mean something meaningful to me.. But that all changed, as I started to grow up.. But I was never able to get rid of my Voodoo dolls.

I've always found 'Voodoo dolls' scary, but that never stopped me from loving them and own lots of them. Not to curse someone ofcourse, but merely because I ALWAYS used to enjoy the time I spent in making one.. I guess that made me a weirdo, but I couldn't care any less.

Honestly, I'm so eager and interested about meeting someone out there who owns a 'Voodoo doll' .. Check out the reasons & Maybe relate to them.. You know, something which tells me its not THAT bizarre to have one.. I don't know!

So this is a shout-out to each and every person who's gonna read this.. Don't feel annoyed/weird because you have a Voodoo doll.. Trust me, u're not the only one. ;)

Location? Hmm.. Well, I'm 'Homeless'.

 

It must be hard, no? They always say that you can't tell how difficult something is until you try it or go through something similar to it and experience it by yourself.. And oh how true that saying is! I've never thought that I'll be in such position where I'll say that I'm homeless or that I've been kicked outta the house I was raised and grew in, but it happened yesterday.

It felt so different yesterday when I answered one of my friends by saying 'Where I'm located? Hmm.. Well, I'm homeless' .. And it was so funny how he thought I was joking with him and started laughing, so I laughed too..

Its really uncomfortable to live a place expect your OWN home.. Even when the owner of that place says; 'Make yourself comfortable like you're in your own home' .. How? How can I act like I'm in my home when I know I'm not!? I can't just pretend that everything is okay & live away from my home. I don't expect anyone to feel what I'm feeling & I also don't expect anyone to try and reach me because I'm pretty useless to everyone at the moment.

I'm Teek & I'm writing this to tell myself that I'll make it through all this.. I'm not gonna stay on the ground when life decides to knock me down.. Because what doesn't kill you, can ONLY make you stronger! This is my survival story away from home.. Starting from today & till God knows when....

The Beach..

 

Time: 5:28 am.

Location: My Room.

Yesterday I met one of my friends who I didn't see for a long while. I actually didn't think I'll see him, but what a sweet coincidence! We talked for hours.. And it was great seeing him after such a long time!

We got into a conversation about the places we love to be at and with who.. And why do we love those places? Any memories linked to them? an accident? Or a romantic date, maybe?! Hehe! Anyways, while we were talking, he asked me a question, "Where is your favorite place, Teek?" .. I went quiet for a minute and then I replied.. "The Beach", I said.

"The Beach!?!?!", he asked.. And I said: "Yeah! Believe it or not, but it is MY favorite place ever!" .. And I started elaborating why I love the beach so much..

.. Its amazing how being in one place can really calm a person down. I remember myself going to the beach every time I got into a fight or an argument with anyone. I park the car and I have a long walk beside the sea and it washes away my sadness & pain. And man how beautiful that feeling is to see the waves crashing and you're walking beside them! I usually play some calm music and get into some deep thinking while having my walk.. It makes me forget everything for a while & enjoy the moment.. I love it more when no one else is around & the place is quiet, it feels like you are the only human in this world & nothing else matters.

That place never failed to make me smile; That place is a bit of heaven, I believe.. I once stood there, put my hands in the air & took a deep breath.. I felt like I'm flying! Truth is, its an indescribable feeling! Something you won't feel until you try it by yourself.. =)

I didn't care if my answer was corny whatsoever.. I actually felt better after telling my friend about it. We started going to the beach together afterwards.. Or maybe he comes along every time to see how crazy I'm, I don't know! But either ways, I'm happy about it.. I don't think I'll stop going there anytime soon; that place became a part of who I'm.

The beach was in my yesterday, its still in my present & it'll be my future.

What does my 'Month' say about me..

While I was browsing 'English Sabla' today, I came across a thread which tells you what your month says about you. I was curious to know what 'October' says about me.. Here's what I got:

• Loves to chat
• Loves those who loves him
• Loves to takes things at the center
• Attractive and suave
• Inner and physical beauty
• Does not lie or pretend
• Sympathetic
• Treats friends importantly
• Always making friends
• Easily hurt but recovers easily
• Bad tempered
• Selfish
• Seldom helps unless asked
• Daydreamer
• Very opinionated
• Does not care of what others think
• Emotional
• Decisive
• Strong clairvoyance
• Loves to travel, the arts and literature
• Soft-spoken, loving and caring
• Romantic
• Touchy and easily jealous
• Concerned
• Loves outdoors
• Just and fair
• Spendthrift and easily influenced
• Easily lose confidence

I actually laughed at how some of the points mentioned above are EXACTLY a reflection of me.. Anyways, if you wanna know if those points are true or not, ask 'Her' .. She knows better! =) xox.

My Thoughts..

Date: January, 15th 2011.
Time: 10:13 am.
Location: My Lovely Room.

I don't know what got into me and told me to start blogging .. Maybe its the boredom! Or maybe its because of all the thoughts that I have in my head and how to transfer them into some 'Written thoughts' .. Either ways, here I am struggling to publish my very first thoughts.

Did I make the right choice by starting a blog? Am I gonna dedicate some time to write down some thoughts every once in a while? Am I a blogger? =P .. Lots of thoughts, aye? Well, only time can answer my thoughts... *giggles*

Lots of love,
Teek.